Monday, May 16, 2011

Life's a Beach

Well, I did it.

I tried on my tankini. You can call me Rihanna because "I like it, like it..." so come on, let's go to the beach. 

Take me to sweet sunshine of Lake Michigan and let me embrace the city skyline painted on a pastel blue. I could care less about her teenie-weenie-yellow-polka-dot-bikini because frankly she doesn't look that good in it.  I'm rocking a one piece (swim suit) and a two piece (pouching system) at the same time. Yep.

When I was 16, I was in the hospital for 6 weeks because of some severe health issues due to Crohn's disease. I met an amazing woman through a family friend named, Maeve. She also had Crohn's and she quickly became my mentor and hero. Though Maeve was dealing with her own health struggles, she gave so much of her time, prayers, and homemade chicken soup to help me get through one of the most difficult periods of my life.  There was one day in the hospital where I was in really poor spirits. My i.v. wasn't working, the meds weren't working, and the medical clowns who were working the floor, insisted on visiting to "cheer me up"... again...(For love of gelatin, nurse, don't send in the clowns.)

I felt pessimistic and upset. Maeve came in and right away she could sense I was defeated. She shut the door and said, "Katie, you can cry if you want to." She had me at "you can" because tears immediately started flooding. After a ten minute pity party of good crying, we took a deep breathe and then we wrote this prayer. Maeve told me that whenever I wanted to give up, that I should say this prayer and God would help me get through whatever moment I was struggling with.  I know that I have this prayer in a drawer somewhere but the part I remember vividly was about going to the beach. "God, please bring me to the day where I can go to the beach and not worry about finding a bathroom and let me just enjoy the day with my friends and family."

Well, it took me almost ten years but God did answer my prayers. I get to go to the beach this summer and there's no room in the cooler for a single worry. The bathing suit is packed, the sandals are at the door, and there is a bright orange beach chair with my name on it. Lake Michigan is no ocean but sometimes on clear days you act naive and imagine it is. So I have to close with lyrics to the number one song on my iPod beach mix. For the first time in my life, is actually resonates with what the summer will be:

"We spotted the ocean at the head of the trail
where are we going, so far away
and somebody told me that this is the place
where everything's better, everything's safe."
"Walk on the Ocean" by Toad the Wet Sprocket.

3 comments:

  1. I want so much to be at the beach with you, but I refuse to wear a bathing suit. My body has gotten fat and loose and really kind of ugly. When you are 65 and you have no estrogen left, your body starts to fall to the ground. I know that I am not my body (in my mind anyway) but do I really accept that in the core of my being? I'm thinking not! I still need to learn some lessons and I'm thinking that maybe, you Katie, may be the one to teach me. I am open to learning and humble enough to accept the truth and with the grace of God, I will!
    Don't forget your sunscreen kiddo!
    Love,
    Aunt Maureen

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  2. Katie, you are an inspiration!!! One of my best friends has Crohn's and another one of my friend's daughter's who is your age has had difficult times as well with Crohn's. I am sharing this with them. You have a gift with words and a beautiful spirit.

    I Love and miss you! Hope to see you in July in NY!! I will have my tankini too!! Covering the stretchmarks God blessed me with when bearing my three beautiful children! (Never did have the body for a teenie weenie ANYTHING!!) Love you Cuz in Cincy!!!

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  3. So happy that things are going well for you and you are enjoying life! Enjoy the sun!
    Love You!

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