Thanksgiving Part Deux

The hours are winding down of this Thanksgiving weekend and unless Oprah shows up and gives me everything on her Favorite Things List, then there is no possible way this weekend could get any better. In fact, it was the greatest Thanksgiving...or weekend...that ever was.

I have mentioned Dave on my blog in an earlier post and as many of you know he is the "gravy to my mashed potatoes". On Tuesday evening he completely suprised me and proposed. He felt this was the best time because he wanted me to know that he would be there for me in the coming week.  I'm still on cloud nine and not even pending surgery can bring me down. The weekend was filled with family, food, and fun and I feel extremely thankful.

There are about 3 days, 87 hours, 5235 minutes, and 4 meals until the surgery...but who's counting? Liquid diet starts on Tuesday but until then I'm savoring every moment and morsel of happiness.  Thanks to everyone for all the support and following the blog. When I'm scared I have re-read the comments on previous posts and it's helped me feel at peace. Love all of you!!

"But Charlie Brown, it's Thanksgiving."

Turkey time is upon us. We have a few Thanksgiving traditions in our household that I look forward to: Carrot Casserole, the "Thanksgiving Movie" after dinner, watching/laughing at the the dog show that airs after the parade with my youngest sister, trying to get the stereo system to work before dinner, and the annual pie baking contest. I've got a smile on my face just thinking about the smell of stuffing and turkey that fills the kitchen on Thursday morning. Yummers.

This year Thanksgiving is more about family then ever. It's the first time my sisters, brother, and parents will have been together since the summer. There's a lot to be thankful for this year, and I'm looking forward to taking this time to relax and eat before the surgery (which is one week from Thursday!!!).

Last week, I was channel surfing (and thinking about pumpkin pie) when I came across A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. I stopped to watch and good ol' Marcie reminded me and "Charles" of something really important (after a Thanksgiving dinner seemed like it was ruined):

But Thanksgiving is more than eating, Chuck. You heard what Linus was saying out there. Those early Pilgrims were thankful for what had happened to them, and we should be thankful, too. We should just be thankful for being together. I think that's what they mean by 'Thanksgiving,' Charlie Brown.

There have been countless days where I've felt like Charlie Brown and I just can't "kick the ball". I just wanted to give up and yell "Arghh!!!", but then the Marcies in my life appeared to offer some words of wisdom (or a laugh) and gave me the gusto to try again and "whip my hair" as they say.

Having Crohn's disease has not been easy but it's taught me to appreciate all the good moments in life where illness goes away for a little. My family has helped me through so much but they also remind me that I'm more than this disease. There's a part of my spirit that pain cannot touch, and you have to cherish the times where you can allow yourself to escape what ails you...like a Thanksgiving dinner at home with the ones you love.

Something Comes Between Me and My Calvin's

So this week it was time for me to strike a pose. Actually I had to strike several poses so that one of the ostomy nurses could determine the placement of my stoma (where the ostomy pouch will attach). Trying to imagine this pouch under my shirt lead me to wonder how I'll be dressing differently after the surgery. I'm not one to parade around in revealing or skimpy outfits, but I like to look like I'm not wearing a potato sack every once in awhile. In my opinion there's nothing better than some good retail therapy and ogling over a Nordstrom's catalog. I love clothes - period.

However there is something I must confess. When I'm having a "lazy style day",  I look like I should be on What Not to Wear (i.e. the Domino's Order Pick-Up Disaster of July 2010 where I sported flannel flip flops, bright aqua knee high sweats with PINK on butt, bar crawl t-shirt with hole in the armpit, wet hair in bun with magenta headband, no makeup and then proceeded to run into sister's high school friends. Girl: "Hey! You look familiar!" Me: "...and probably very ridiculous."). The truth is sometimes when you don't feel good on the inside, the last thing you care about is getting gussied up.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say to me, "Geez, you look really tired today." aka "Geez, you look about as pretty as Charlize Theron in Monster right now." Sigh.
There are days when I care and there are days when I don't. I've turned into an Almond Joy of fashion, and sometimes I feel like a nut. Chicago Fashionistas, I can't help it if I'd rather wear a fleece onesie on a Friday night, then put on a pair of jeans, high heels, and a halter top.  No longer am I ashamed of my "lazy style days" because I've been through more shameful experiences dealing with a disease that involves bathrooms and "tummy troubles". I prefer to be comfortable when I'm uncomfortable - so take that Joan Rivers! I know that I may have to pull a Tim Gunn and "make it work" with whatever clothing obstacles arise after the surgery, but I'm up for the challenge. Vogue.

Doctor! Doctor! Give me the news...and order me some pizza, preferably Lou's.

As I count down the days to surgery (nineteen!!!), I have been thinking about a lot things but mostly...food. I have been reading that prior to the surgery I won't be able to eat for a day or two as part of the prep. During surgery, I had requested an i.v. of chocolate but this was unfortunately denied. Post surgery, I won't be able to eat solid foods until my doctor can hear bowel sounds (hopefully my stomach and small intestine are shouting "Feed me!!!") and I can tolerate liquids. It's really not going to be that long, but I get antsy if I even skip breakfast.

So for the past month my stomach and I have gone into panic mode.  I have been savoring each meal as though it's my last and have developed this mentality that only time will tell before I'm tolerating my usual favorites once I'm recovering: sushi, veggie omelets, turkey sandwiches, pizza and of course anything chocolate.

During the week I have been "trying" really hard to be healthy, drink my V8, and get in as much fruit as possible, but there are some moments where I feel like I've become "Girl vs. Food". Seriously, I could totally dominate Adam Richman right now! What makes it even more difficult to not obsess about food? I work for one of the biggest food companies in the world. 

The key for me to not transform into a contender for The Biggest Loser is some form of exercise and finding other ways to cope with emotions of anxiety (besides food). Although I haven't had much energy to really go full force at the gym, I am learning to do what I can. This includes Denise Austin's 12 minute workout DVD, flexing my abs during the commute to work, walking to a friend's house, or dancing around my apartment with my iPod. In terms of dealing with emotions, I have found that talking to friends and family and blogging have really helped me (so thanks to all who have been listening and reading). 

There's nothing like a good slice of pizza, a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup (or five), or a tasty spicy tuna roll from your favorite Japanese restaurant, but at the end of the day (or a good meal) I must remind myself that it's about feeding your soul in addition to feeding your stomach.